GTA: Wikiverse, No. 1 - Corruption Control

MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE... (I don't know which side so don't ask)

Two mysterious, insane cultists are discussing about some shit in an extremely big basement of a seemingly-normal school from another dimension.

Unknown #1: So, okay, with the adventurers finishing their fucking job, will we start to take over the Wikiverse for no apparent reason?

Unknown #2: I have no fucking idea you piece of shit. I'm the leader here, but whatever.

Unknown #1: Should we specifically target the adventurers too or will we just throw everything wildly until there's nothing to fucking lose?

Unknown #2: No, this shouldn't get too easy. Play a little mind game on them, infect everyone else other than them. Silently. So they won't expect what's happening.

Unknown #1: Nice fucking idea. The thing is that, for more total effect, we will need a tank for the totally new, pure and supreme society. Any ideas to make this stronger?

Unknown #2: Yeah, I think the ritual to worsen the effects of this is to, of fucking coruse, use the powers of alchemy. I think we'll mix some agates, lilies, pieces of shit, a vial containing the concept of hypocrisy, and a 0.4 mL blood of a Greek politician. Go find these using the powers of Plot Convenience. Immediately.

Unknown #1: Alright, you summon the goddamn portal.

Unknown #2: (reads a shitty scroll and draws a pentagram out of what appears to be red sharpie on the ground, followed by chanting in broken Latin) Ad ostium aperi nobis immediate Wikiverse alioquin morientur! (A purple portal opens above the pentagram) Okay, now go in you piece of shit.

Unknown #1: Alright! (enters the portal)

LATER...

Unknown #1: Okay, here I am, with the materials you needed for the fucking mixture.

Unknown #2: Good. Hand them to me immediately.

Unknown #1: Okay. Who will be the victim of this?

Unknown #2: Since we need a tank, I'd prefer that fun dude administrating over Trollpasta. Seems like a fucking great staff for the society.

Unknown #1: Alright. Experiment Sanguinem, commence?

Unknown #2: Yes, motherfucker!

A YEAR LATER...

After a certain group known as the "Adventurers" finished their fucking job on saving the Wikiverse (finally), they have disbanded but still remained active contact on each other. Some things have changed, primarily Memez, who has started his own organization that deals in paranormal researching (and totally not drug dealing... except for "mental drugs," literally.) after his adventures with the Squad, called the Godofmemez Paranormal Enterprises, which is considered to be the illuminati of the Wikiverse.

However, everything began to turn down in 2014, because everything with the number 4, shit always goes down. With the spawn of the Mind, the deity of the Godofmemez Paranormal Enterprises, a greater and even more organized evil is attempting to shadow the Wikiverse. It is known as The Corruption, a mysterious influence that starts to "change" people, in a way they proceed to become assholes for no reason. Or rather, I'd say, making everyone lose their minds. The spread was very silent, not even the researchers of the GPE knew it was happening... until now.

Soon after, incidents all relating to the Corruption started to happen. Random "harassments" started to occur, manifests of more abstract paranormal entities started to occur, and brawls are then regularly spotted any time. Shit was all hell. That was, until some people started to die off in their own ways due to this somehow shitty influence managing to take over the Wikiverse. The most major deaths being Kerbin and Celtic (probably), as well as Spoooky, and probably a few others. However, some are still hiding from the influence, planning to preform a rebellion, or should I'd say a coup d'etat.

After this, this excuse for a society was eventually formed into a cult under the orders of a mysterious organization from another dimension that claims to "annhilate" the paranormal. Many admins were lost to this cult, through they were actually undercover members, for some fucking reason. Eventually, shit HAS to just get down, for some reason. This means that, instead of a fun environment, it is now changed to a lost cause of a crime-riddled ghetto full of gang violence, all that stuff, shit was like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Eventually, a small gang consisting of the survivors of the Great Wiki Corruption was formed, named "The Purity" (that is, if they're even pure. The only exception to this is Memez, of fucking course). This group was formed for the purpose of attempting to preform a coup that fucks up the Corruption beyond belief so everything can be finally fucking normal again. Apparently, it mainly consists of GPE gangsters... um, I mean researchers and asscoiates, former Corruption cultists, and probably completely unrelated people.

And so, the "tales" begin here. Take caution when reading, because it contains a lot of GTA-esque shit.

A lone cloaked person is sitting on a desk in a dark, purple room, apparently smashing the desk over reports of people "sperging" over things when the phone suddenly rings with a ringtone with an uncanny resemablance to "Bring Me To Life."

(Ringing noises)

Unknown #1: S. C. Ferro, I got what all we need for the front, they're all of the jewelries we're able to find from the ruined house of the deceased D. Bonesy, and we took hours to cut them, hope that was worth it.

S. C. Ferro: Good, buster. These retards shouldn't recognize the store, since it was a fucking front. Oh, and what was the store's name again?

Unknown #1: Three Coiler Jewelries Store.

Ferro: Great. Let's see what will happen tomorrow. By the way, did you responded to Operation 44: Expurget Duo?

Unknown #1: Yes, the operation has been done, and now it's devastating a lot of lives, so we can be larger. My pleasure.

Ferro: OK, stay alert of any fucktards that may come there. Report to MFCS if there's any fucking news, okay?

Unknown #1: O-Okay, my good sir, I'll do that.

Ferro: Well, good. See you later (hangs up)

Unknown #1: Alright, what a fucking douchebag. Lets get back to my business...

(Sudden weird droning noises)

Unknown #1: Wait... what was that?

The wall proceeds to crack, then promptly explode, ruining many stuff in the room in the progress. Fuck. Then, what appears to be a metallic, glowing saucer then somehow flew from the explosion into the room and the "shopkeeper" had to avoid it. However, for some weird fucking reason, it is actually a car that looks like it got beaten up hard. Then, a mysterious figure appears in the opening.

Unknown #1: HOLY FUCK! IS THAT N-

Mysterious figure: Hey, you! Is that B. Lock, an OG of the MFCS division of the Corruption Cult? I'm sure you are.

B. Lock: That's pure fucking nonsense! How the fuck do you know me, bitch?

Mysterious figure: Call me Nue Houjuu, goddammit. Listen up, we're watching your ass, so you'd better prepare since we're going to kick yours, buster.

B. Lock: Shut the fuck up, (whispers) and why does everyone keeps calling me a buster? (normal voice, fucking again) Why are those little fags sending spies on us? Get the fuck out.

Nue: (grabs B. Lock and stares at him, followed by showing what appears to be the three-fingered salute) Screw your coup, I'll be the one who will be doing the coup, kay? (proceeds to kick B. Lock in the groin, sending him down on the floor immediately)

B. Lock: (Seemingly down) ...Nue...you...motherfucker......we'll invade you.........for this...

Nue: Fine, dude, I'll left you here. You'll probably be the toy by the time we came again. (Proceed to quit the room with the "floating car," ruining the room even more in the process)

B. Lock, however, still has the stregth to pick up his phone, and proceeded to dial back Ferro on what the fuck just happened.

B. Lock: Sir, we got some spy over there, exposed my place. Those retards are coming the next day, what should we do?

Ferro: Alright, fuck it. Tomorrow I'm sending armed bikers from the sadistic SM set of the MFCS to attack them when they come.

B. Lock: Good... Just do it quick, okay?

Ferro:Alright fucker I'll get your fucking request done soon, now fuck off (hangs up)

B. Lock: ...Fuck it, everything is over. Fuck EVERYTHING. As well as my fries.

Someone else is sitting in his office, apparently playing some kind of game on his laptop with his subordinate. However, his phone proceed to ring with a ringtone of リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Yes, literally mental drugs). He paused for ten seconds (for some reason) before answering the phone.

Memez: Sup. Got the information?

Nue: Yeah. Covert jewelry store named Three Coiler Jewelries Store in Los Chistes (AKA the newly established Inside Jokes), apparently. Inside hides some secret barracks. The shopkeeper, B. Lock, is also involved in Corruption deals.

Memez: Oh, great. Tomorrow I'm going to smoke all of those fuckers out, wish me luck.

Nue: Nope, I can't. Instead, take your three elites to do the jewelry store job. I'll oversee it.

Memez: Alright, see ya. (hangs up)

Memez proceed to kick the door out of his room, for some reason, and called up everyone avaliable in the hall.

Memez: Holy fuck, guys. We finally knew the location. Apparently, it's in a covert jewelry store in Inside Jokes, which, for some reason I think it's newly established since the Great Corruption have began.

Bonesy: Really? Sounds good. We'll raid them motherfuckers tomorrow.

Memez: Well, it's a barracks containing "MFCS" recruits or some shit, might take some time to raid the shit outta them.

Squigly: *nods* Yes, if we keep our heads.

Patrix90: OK, when I finish listening to this aesthetic shit.

Memez: Goddammit, dude, this is the time to show our stregth... to corrupt trash who somehow knows absolutely nothing whatsoever. Or rather, I'd say the "unknowers."

Bonesy: Yeah, cool. Lemme get the arsenal for a minute, BRB.

Memez: Okay then. Anyways, since things have changed a lot, we're going to fuck the Corruption up. Who is with me?

Squigly: Yeah, totally.

Patrix90: Probably.

Memez: No, dude, ALWAYS get ready for shit... Well, except if you aren't energtic enough (Takes a sip of a Coca-cola soda bottle). Then you'll never know how taking the fucking action feels like.

Patrix90: Does vaporwave counts as energtic?

Memez: Depends on the type. Most of the time, however, it's just like mental drugs, literally. Some people said we ship them for fourty cents, it pleases their shitty minds.

Bonesy: Back. Holy shit I'm like the weapon supplier. Anyways, here your staff.

Memez: Thnx. *spins the staff around* We're getting cool.

Patrix90: And where the fuck is my epic Jeffanizer and my Vaporwave Pistol?

Bonesy: OK, you got it. We really spent much the budget for this mentally-drugged pistol BTW.

Patrix90: It's fine, at least it will be worth it m8.

Memez: Anyway, we're going to pay the place a visit tomorrow. Get your stuff ready so we can fuck shit up. Anyways, now scram, gonna play some more Unturned, see if those fuckers can get hold of us.

Patrix90: K, cya.

Memez: ...You bastard.

So, the next day, the gangsters somehow got ready quickly. They decided to get slienced 9mms in case they need to use stealth, except for Patrix90, since his gun already comes with an attachable sliencer. Anyway, they proceed to the outside, before they realized that there were no cars parked outside, really.

Memez: Don't worry, I've got this.

Memez proceed to raise his staff up, followed by chanting some kind of shitty Latin incantation, apparently.

Memez: ''O occultum! Nebula me das statim!''

A red Nebula proceed to spontaneously appear on the parking lot.

Bonesy: ...How'd you even do that?

Memez: Simple, the occult has it, then it has it.

They proceed to enter the car, with Memez as a driver because no one else cannot really fit for a driver, and that's pretty much it. For some weird reason, Patrix90 decided to insert a CD of Blank Banshee 1 into the music player, but no one really cared so whatever. After making sure no one else is following them on the alternate way to Los Chistes, they decided to go on their way on the black operation when Squigly heard some weird motorbike noises.

Squigly: Hey... What was that?

Patrix90 proceed to look behind the car, then promptly slipped himself onto the seats after he saw some suspicious dark purple motorbikes following them, so Bonesy proceed to open the car windows immediately then quickly adjusted his Bass Cannon to maximum, and aimed at the assholes on the bikes.

Bonesy: Lads, stop fucking over there or I'll shoot yer ass with this Bass Cannon.

So, because the retads kept following, he decided to shoot at the middle of them with the cannon, promptly causing them to explode in neon green flames in the progress. However, for some fucking reason, more bikers started following them.

Memez: Yeah, this means drive-by.

So, for some weird reason, even through they all have slienced pistols, they decided to open fire on the bikes. The bikers proceed to fall off one by one, which causes the remaining to open with their what appears to be dark purple TEC-9's. However, since they are cheap as fuck guns, they barely caused any damage. So, after all the bikers are dead, a modified Tahoma with dark purple coloration and wheels designed to look like eyes appeared. This car was noticably hard to damage even using the Vaporwave Pistol, and the car started to close in when all the occupants in it started to take fire (Also, interestingly, the driver can shoot as well as drive at the same time. He got phat skills yo.)

C: (slightly distorted) COME OVER HERE, YOU LITTLE MORONS, I'LL BLAST YOU OUT!

Memez: Goddammit, guys, try to aim and shoot at the gas tank.

After a short time, as the car distanced a little away from the car of the main gangsters, they proceed to shoot at the gas tank, making it instantly explode. Memez drove the car away from the explosions second before it happened.

C: YOU... *cough* RETARDS... YOU MAY HAVE SURVIVED... *cough* BUT LORD SANGUINEM DETERMINES YOUR FATE... *dies*

Memez: Weird. Who is that?

Patrix90: Well. Just head over to the store, you know what are we dealing with.

Some time later, they are finally at the vicinity of the store, with a slightly tilted sign, "Three Coiler Jewelries Store." So, they proceed to get out of the car, and then sneak to the front of the store, waiting at the door before entering.

Memez: (whispering) Silent, guys. One, two, three...

They kicked the front door of the store out and looked around for the shopkeeper, trying to not be distracted by the jewelries in the cases around the stores. Unsurprisingly, they found him hiding on the table with the cash register. Everyone else aimed their gun on him while Memez proceed to interrogate.

Memez: Mind up motherfucker, are you connected with the deals of the Corruption?

B. Lock: N- No! Thanks for asking, now get the fuck ou-

Memez: But you clearly is, I'm minding on your tone. Did you ever saw a girl banging the screen doors of this store? That's your problem.

B. Lock: (Attempts to grab his pistol) How the fuck are you supposed to kno- (Proceeds to get kicked on the head by Memez)

Memez: Don't insult knowers, unknower. This'll be the last words you'll know before we kindly fuck you off.

Everyone else proceeded to open fire on B. Lock and that was the last of him.

Memez: Okay, guys, let's look for the secret entrance, should be here somewhere.

Everyone got on their separate ways trying to find the secret entrance to the barracks. Not long after, Patrix90 found a small green button on one of the cases.

Patrix90: Holy shit guys check this out.

Patrix90 pressed the button, and the case proceed to, somehow, move along the floor as a purple door with all lowercase Latin engraving on it is revealed, apparently reading "secretum sm castra tiro. sanctitas non licet"

Memez: Hell, these guys must really hate purity. Let's kick the door again.

Since the door was locked, it required a bit of kicking before the door finally opened. A dark and a run-down stairway was present on the other side, descending on a corridor.

Bonesy: This place is 2spooky4me lads.

Squigly: Not for me.

After some walk, they finally proceed to the corridors with several bed blocks.

Patrix90: So, where the fuck should we go first?

Memez: I have no idea. Probably shoot shit off every room for all we know.

Bonesy: How come there are absolutely no guards here?

Memez: Well, everyone must be sleeping, or they'd probably get defenses for themselves, so we must beware.

They entered a random block, to find Corruption gang members and prostitutes laying around.

Memez: Good morning, corrupt dope pushers. Enterprises OG's come to do damage.

Memez proceed to shoot one of the motherfuckers' head with the pistol, promptly causing everyone else in the room (all except for the prostitutes and the crack dealers apparently too drunk to do anything, really. They just kind of lie there and forth) to wake the fuck up and then completely forgot to bring their own guns as they bring in metal baseball bats.

Big Bully: Fuck them pure fools! Purity going down!

And so, they had to just spend the rest of their time in the block engaging in a melee fight with the assholes in the room, all complete with insults, cussing and swears. It continued for about approximately five minutes until Patrix90 had to kill all the motherfuckers with the Vaporwave Pistol because these guys are tough as fuck. However, someone has already pressed the alarm, shit is sure to go down.

Memez: Fuck, I think we need to blast all of those fools immediately.

They exited the block room, crouched, and went in an epic gunfight with every retards in the room, ever. However, since Bonesy was using a Bass Cannon, the fuckers went down quickly in minutes.

Bonesy: Wait, they had backups from the management office. Fuck.

Gangsters with shotguns and body armor started to emerge from the management office room at the end of the corridor. However, Squigly proceed to pull out a whip made out of bone, as if she was pulling it out of her ass. She proceed to whip at the gangsters, causing them to get electrocuted row by row.

Memez: Awesome. Now should we grab all of their shit?

Bonesy: Your idea, you go.

They entered the office, and there were really nothing of interest inside, actually. Except for a few crappy safes, in which they have blown up and stole some cash from them. After looking through some shit, they proceed to escape the barracks immediately before anyone else chase them down.

Patrix90: Hey, check this vaporwave album out m8.

Memez: Another one again?

Patrix90: Stole this from a desk, it's named "ECO VIRTUAL - ATMOSPHERES 第1." Pretty great.

Memez: Nah, gonna try it later.

After they have escaped the barracks, they proceed to get in the Nebula, and then drive back to their hood. As again, Patrix90 decided to eject the old CD, then promptly insert the CD of the stolen vaporwave album into the music player and played it, since at best vaporwave is one of the few escapes from internet corruption, really. Memez proceed to phone Nue.

Memez: Sup, dude. Operation successful, we dumped all the trash. I'd give you some cash when I'm there.

Nue: Brilliant, you all did great. Oh, and you don't need to give me any cash.

Memez: Well then thanks. Ya wanna do some little gamin' when I get home?

Nue: Nah, that's old. I've got another mission when you get home, this time I'll go too, see if motherfuckers can deal with actual action girls.

Memez: Great, see you at the tower. (Hangs up) Now the corrupt fucks know that the Purity is gonna be on their way back up.

Bonesy: For sure. But I think they'll take the fucking action later, just warning.

Memez: Meh, could warn others later. They'll be up for real fucking action, I guess.

And then, well, they all began to go on the quest to eradicate every corrupt motherfuckers from the territories of the Wikiverse. However, they're apparently not aware that a bigger, mysterious organization is behind all the shitty corruption of the Wikiverse. They're currently planning something that would ultimately devastate all of the lands. But soon, they'll know about shit.

This is part of the Grand Theft Auto: Wikiverse

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