Grand Theft Auto: Wikiverse, No. 0 - The Introduction

(Notes: Also known as Grand Theft Auto: Wikiverse, Wikiverse War II, TH69: The Reign of Corruption, ﻿ＧＰＥ - Wikiverseで幻覚, Event Insidias Duo, The Deprauationem Files, and The Day The Reality Fucks Itself. This so-called "sequel" to the Adventures of Kerbin, Celtic and Bonesy has a mix of GTA elements with the post-2014 internet culture (AKA the Corruption), much more badder [sic] references than The Adventures, and an equally even more badder lore. Explosions, "paranormal girls," Latin usage, excessive stereotypes, false beliefs and obviously action is included that will make a portion of the internet go full retard and preform a suicide pact so hard that the Corruption would even can't bother to call them "killing themselves." Every SINGLE bad thing in this fucking series is intentional. If you know that you're highly involved with modern internet corruption, or is too pussy for crime-"drama" actions, or have sanctitophobia (AKA fear of purity), you'd better leave now before having your mind blown. For those who stayed, let's roll.)

Godofmemez motherfucking Paranormal Enterprises presents...

A Leviathan Surge production.

Sanguinem

SC

Jack

Patrix90

Bonesy

Nue

Midna

Anita

Peridot

Celtic

Ryuko

Zannaza

And of fucking course, Memez

In Grand Theft Auto: Wikiverse.

AFTER THE EVENTS OF THE ADVENTURES...

Los Trollpastos, San Wikiversas, circa 2015

Two hoods are currently conversing in an alleyway about some serious cartel shit in the morning, while a ridiculously catchy music plays in the background.

SC: So, you met me in this fucking damp-ass place, after all that rehab bullshit, for what?

Sanguinem: Yes, as I said, I'm forced into a fucking adventure with those retards. I wanted you to deal with some business.

SC: As in cooperation?

Sanguinem: Yes, you little shit.

SC: So I have to join your shitty cartel?

Sanguinem: Come the fuck on, we have no choice. There's nothing to feel bad about. I mean, the President is dead, right?

SC: Alright, but you have to pay for my business about a thirty K, otherwise it will fucking collapse.

Sanguinem: Easy. I'll deliver it to you in a hour or so.

SC: Fine, but 5-0 are searching for you all over the streets. You might, like, need a fucking drop plane to send it or so. You always get away with those fucking crimes.

Sanguinem: OK, whatever, fucker. Soon enough we'll find enemies anyways.

SC: But we'll eradicate them...

Sanguinem: Yeah, right. Probably.

Bonesy was called by someone on a cellphone in his car, and he decided to answer it.

Bonesy: Hello, who is this?

Midna: Hey Bonesy, it's Midna!

Bonesy: Hey, Midna, my girl, what you been up to?

Midna: Well, I've got a pretty rich residence in Ludos (AKA Video Games). Wanna come and visit?

Bonesy: Sure. That place might be safe from those gang bangers.

Midna: Well you want an address.

Bonesy: Sure.

Midna: Well, it's number sixty nine, D&D street, Ludos. See you there.

Bonesy: Alrighty, I guess I'll be heading there.

Meanwhile, on the other side, Memez and his now-usual partner Nue are sneaking on the streets, for some reason.

Memez: Which one we should jack?

Nue: Choose that purple one, we're strictly stealing from those gang bangers only.

As just a dark purple car driven by a Corruption gang member with a another gang banger on the back drove by, Memez opened their door, with Nue promptly punching the driver's face and dragging him out. They then entered the car and drove off, leaving no time for the dragged out hoodlum to attempt to enter back in.

Nue: Hey, motherfucker, unless you plan on sticking your lube up my ass, I suggest you get the fuck out the car"

Memez: Yeah, you better listen to the bitch, you fucking banging little shit.

The passenger promptly bailed out of the car and that's pretty much it.

Memez: Dammit, my girl, you're a vamp.

Nue: Nah, give that to your enigmatic guardian, I think she's in for some bad shit.

Memez: Plus, those assholes not gonna stop spreading their shitty culture through LT will they?

Nue: Yeah, right. All they do is sell yay and ruin the place.

Memez: That makes you my bitch for life.

Nue: Yeah, knew about that.

Just as they were about to, for some fucking reason, bang each other, Memez suddenly snapped.

Memez: Hey, this shouldn't end up like Celtic and Ryuko, right?

Nue: Huh.

Memez: Speaking of them, through, I wonder if they're dead due to the scandal of those gang banging assholes or not...

San Estrellas

A bitch in red hair is, for some fucking reason, discussing some shit with a... well, Gem.

Anita: Do you approve of doing business with those beta scums from Los Trollpastos? They just doesn't seem to be a good partner for us.

Peridot: I don't know. But they're going to set up their cartel in this place, I guess.

Anita: Then, well, even through they could profit us, I ask why the fuck are they mostly males?

Peridot: Take it or leave it. Jesus, you're getting too obsessed. Just have them with us for once.

Anita: So, we're forced to do business for them?

Peridot: Yes, why the fuck not.

Anita: But what if they turn up to betray me and promptly bang me in the ass?

Peridot: They're bad just like us.

Anita: You say that I'm bad?

Peridot: My apologies.

Anita: OK, I'll go with you for ONCE. Join their cartel, see if this will do any shit.

Back to fucking Los Trollpastos

Later, the OGs of the Enterprises proceed to talk to each other about the shit that has been happening in Los Trollpastos in the noon.

Bonesy: Guys, tell me, after our adventure why the heck is gang-related crime rate rising all of a sudden?

Memez: You know, the fucking energy, man.

Bonesy: Well, I wonder why is the culture gone like this.

Nue: Worse, I've heard that those assholes from the moon invaded 'Sokyo for no damn reason, good thing I was out here for a while.

Memez: The issues in this town is just same, through.

Bonesy: Well, on the other hand, there's more "anomalies" appearing in the city grounds.

Nue: Yeah.

Memez: Well, after the scandals with the fucking Super Family, and Opal, right in front of those fuckers?

Bonesy: At least you've got more cases to log.

Memez: Speaking about the paranormal, I wonder what is this mysterious dude Patrix90 slacking on?

A mysterious dude walked into his quarters, having no expression on him whatsoever. He promptly picked up his cell phone, dialing a number from memory and lifted the cell phone up to his ear.

Patrix90: Farside Virtual.

He promptly hung up and called another number, answering almost instantly.

Patrix90: I need the steps on the ritual.

???: Code 3.

Patrix90: K. Is the pistol ready?

???: Yes. Will be delivered to your place the next morning. Smokescreen will be employed.

Patrix90: K.

He hung up after and went to his computer, to continue creating pictures of abstract concepts.

Las Espiritus

Celtic and Ryuko are sitting in an office, while Zannaza interrogates them while holding a Glock on Ryuko.

Celtic: So, bitch, why do you want to meet with me again? Get the fuck out.

Zannaza: Or have that bitch by your side lie with a bullet on her head.

Celtic: Alright, fuck you.

Zannaza: Listen, we have some business there.

Celtic: Whatever it fucking is, I don't want to take part.

Zannaza: Well, do you know our business?

Celtic: Posting shitty advert scams all over the city?

Zannaza: Yes, little boy. That's what I want you to do.

Celtic: But I never wanted to do such thing-

Zannaza: Shut the fuck up before I really shoot your bitch.

Celtic: Alright, alright.

Zannaza: OK, whatever, get me a fucking coffee.

Celtic proceed to get a coffee for Zannaza, uninterested in anything whatsoever.

Back to fucking Los Trollpastos, again...

Sanguinem and SC are discussing about some shit in an alleyway, again.

Sanguinem: What about, we fucking pull off a grand operation?

SC: Yes, we should have everyone respond to it. Even through this is going to be obviously an extremely big lie, it should be able to freak off the residents for no good reason. At all. Whatsoever.

Sanguinem: Fool, we rely on lies.

SC: Oh yeah, but where will we mainly pull it off?

Sanguinem: I don't fucking know.

SC: Well, we could discuss about this shit later, right?

Sanguinem: Yeah, those fuckers will be totally shocked of what we did.

SC: So, we convince all of those foolish admins to ruin the city?

Sanguinem: Yes, that's what I thought.

SC: Alright, whatever, I think we'll discuss about how this will go later. Let's get some fucking beer.

They walked off on the streets to get some beer.

Somewhere, The Great Dank

Snoop: Alright, Jack, I be givin' you full permission to scope out Los Trollpastos.

Jack: Um, why?

Snoop: Well, for one reason. Tha Corruption motherfuckers be fuckin' the streets yo, you need your friends' help to deal wit dis shit.

Jack: Oh, nice. So we got a street gang up our ass.

Snoop: Yes my homie. Now go. You need work to do.

Jack: OK. If I don't get back here in a year, get the fuck out of here and shoot any motherfuckers in the way.

Snoop: Whatever my nizzle.

Jack: OK, OK, I'm fuckin' going m8, see what's happening.

Back to fucking Los Trollpastos, YET AGAIN...

A red Virgo is pulling out of a garage and driving slowly on the street.

Back at the Enterprises tower, at afternoon.

Memez: Dude, you know what, in place of those fucking anomalies, we got an influential street gang taking over this city, spraying their usual imagery and doing gang signs all over the place. How you feel?

Patrix90: Yeah, yeah, it's shitty.

Memez: And considering that those fuckers attempts to have them own the fucking city "for life" as well, this situation especially goes over the usual shitty.

Patrix90: I know, I've just been trying to listen to some punk to get my mind off it, that's all.

Memez: Seriously, through, when will we get involved in arms trafficking? If those mind fuckers come over to pull our panties down, what are we going to do? Throw dildos at them?

Patrix90: Simple. Throw your bitches at them and there goes fucking reality.

Memez: Are you aware that The Corruption is also a shitty cult in the inside?

Patrix90: Yeah. I'd like to think that I can see your bitches because of vaporwave.

Memez: Whatever, dude. We'd work with Japanese gang bangers to get guns, all that stuff.

Patrix90: Never knew of those guys, through.

Memez: Alright, later, dude.

San Estrellas

Anita: Alright, what the fuck are you going to deal with us? Just, tell me quickly and go.

MC Odio: Dude, I'm a representative, show me some respect, okay?

Anita: Just tell me what the fuck you want and we'll do as you please.

MC Odio: So, okay, do you want to set up a cartel with us? We'll provide as much profits as you want.

Anita: Hm? Okay, okay. I've been convinced, but whatever. You'll give me a lot.

MC Odio: Whatever, you'll also be working with other two of our associates.

Anita: Really? Fuck that. I'd prefer to work two by two.

MC Odio: But that means an opportunity for more money.

Anita: Alright, screw you, I'm in.

MC Odio: Oh, and plus, I'll call two other syndicates to cooperate with us as well, isn't that good?

Anita: So, we have to fall under the hands of a big-ass cartel? Heck no.

MC Odio: Alright, if you don't care, I'll speak with someone else about this.

Back to fucking Los Trollpastos, for the fourth fucking time...

The Red Virgo is driving down an isolated alleyway.

Jack is walking on the streets of Los Trollpastos, for some fucking reason, on evening.

Jack: Man, wonder what I'll see on the way today...

A Corruption gang member walked past him, who then attempted to hit him with a baseball bat. However, Jack, used his immense power to knock him down before he even does.

Jack: What the fuck you think you're doing?

Little Flamer: Get the fuck out of my territory, dyke.

Jack: Yeah, don't mess with me, I'm a Dankgel, motherfucker.

Jack promptly stomped the gang member down the floor and walked off.

Jack: Jesus, what the hood gone these days?

The Red Virgo is driving down the street in the Los Chistes area.

The two same hoodlums are discussing about shit in a bar, for some fucking reason, while drinking some Pißwasser.

Sanguinem: So how it's going?

SC: I have told some fuckers to raid the place when they ain't active.

Sanguinem: Sounds good. Was it a bookstore?

SC: Yeah. The place is going to blow within a fucking hour, this is gonna be fun.

Sanguinem: Yeah, make sure everyone responds to the operation.

SC: I think I'll be calling a front's manager in a hour or so.

Sanguinem: Good. Make sure to keep this a black operation, otherwise our presumed enemies might fucking know and cap us in the ass.

SC: Understood.

Memez: Guys, when are we starting to cap the ass of those Corruption mind fuckers?

Nue: I don't know, might call my friend in, but I'm certain she won't last a hour here.

Bonesy: Well, I know a way to sabotage their operation.

Memez: What is it?

Bonesy: Incorporation of cognitohazardous acoustic content into their systems.

Patrix90: I have no idea what you just said.

Memez: Hell, it seems like a good idea, but we didn't deal with that before.

Bonesy: So what we can do is to go over a place, instigate a shootout, then back up, and repeat?

Nue: Probably.

Patrix90: Or seizure them with fucking vaporwave

Memez: Hell no, we might need to find a way. If there ain't, then we're going to take the striaght way.

Near midnight, the Red Virgo is driving down near the local Chistes bookstore, as two masked Corruption hoodlums (presumably OGs) came out of the car with AK-47 assault rifles and started shooting everywhere, causing everyone to freak out (obviously). Books were burnt and some people were killed in the progress. Then, they threw hand grenades into the store. However, the clerk and some other people managed to escape out of the store from the back, while some people hide themselves in restrooms and offices, and some pretends themselves to be dead.

Some time later, some "ghetto birds" and a squad of police officers arrived, gathering outside the ruined bookstore. However, the two gang members entered the Virgo after and sped off. However, an officer was able to shoot a wheel of the Virgo, causing it to pop off. However, it went off and no one knows where it exactly went.

Jack, however, was observing the event with a fucking trash bin for cover the fucking whole time. After witnessing the entire event, he proceed to call Memez to notify him of what just fucking happened.

Jack: Memez, we got a problem.

Memez: What is it?

Jack: Fuckers shot up the bookstore up in Chistes, they had books about yours.

Memez: Well, shit. I think we're gonna try to get to the location.

Jack: OK.

Memez hung up, and said that it was Jack who called.

Bonesy: Wait, if Jack is up in The Great Dank, how come he here?

Memez: I don't know, he probably got perms to be here or some shit, probably scoping out those gang banging motherfuckers, you know.

Bonesy: Meh, that might fits.

Memez: Nue, I need you to do me a favor.

Nue: As always. What is it?

Memez: Look over the bookstore in Chistes, see what's up with it. Plus, get some information about Corruption gang bases, we're gonna start to raid them one by one.

Nue: OK, flying over to the place. I'm going to appear as a blinking light as usual.

Nue fled off the Los Chistes and that was it.

Bonesy: Nice. What now?

Memez: We get heated up for those motherfuckers.

Welcome to San Wikiversas

...motherfucker.

This is part of the Grand Theft Auto: Wikiverse

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