Vault 420

Hello dudes, guess which kind of situation I fell into?!?! Well, I'm here fucking trapped in an abnormal place called Vault 420 with some another dude known as "Jack." I was currently on my laptop playing some Minecraft with my friends (and, well, friendly anomalies). And Jack is using me as a fucking body shield all over. Well, the one thing is that, I found this staff called "Sanity Staff" mostly because I was the only sane paranormal researcher here, and I was the one chosen the wield it. Weird, didn't I have the diamond spiked dildo already? But let's forget it.

I've been here since god knows who, and like, how the fuck did I get here?!?! That's just stupid. And what the fuck did this vault even have to do with me?!?! Like a Fallout vault?!?! The door was also fucking locked, I CAN'T OPEN IT!!! Looks like someone locked me in here, because there's this dude over here. Like, can't I get a better, sane company like Squigly?!?! Shit, who the fuck locks me in here is probably fucking Auto or something. Anyway, since I was playing Minecraft while people don't know I was here, it's probably 0.01% chance the asses won't probably came over to me, save me and take me to my home.

Well, it's like about 12 hours when I was stuck here. Jack is in some MLG shit and I give no heck about it, because it's just really stupid shit, think it was cool and stuff. But yeah, like, I needed to escape out of this vault thing. Did someone just told me to destroy pony and vore shit?!?! My fucking god. Anyway, it has been a while I was stuck, and I knew I had nothing to do until I got my laptop and started playing Minecraft right? That's what I thought.

But, well. It was until I can finally escape with the help of... Well, some people. Let me tell you how this begun. Anyway, as I was just saying, I was stuck in a place called Vault 420 with Jack while playing Minecraft. But then, well, I heard some kind of a really loud explosion outside. Maybe that was some pretty crazy batshit. Anyway, that was minutes before... Well, I heard door sounds going everywhere, so I expected somewhere is here. Suddenly, our door got unlocked. Finally, I was able to exit out of here, so we ran into the corridor.

But then, I met familiar faces: That was Bonesy, Kerbin, Celtic, and someone else. I was like "Hey Bonesy, good to see you." It was last time I was friends with this... Well, friendly skeleton because we talked about that anomaly I'd not describe because it's too fucking dangerous. He's mostly the few friendly anomalies I've had as friend aside from Squigly. Anyway, that guy who talks about kebab for some reason told us to go because there are kebabs in need of removing. What the fuck?!?! Is this another abnormal mission? But then, Bonesy asked if we have weapons or not. Unforunately, I actually had that staff I'm holding. If I didn't have one I'd be sent to home you know what?!?!

Anyway, we heard some kind of stupid shots because this is full of anomalies right? Like, why don't we introduce ourselves to this mission when I was on TPWC back then? Everyone, for no apparent fucking reason, they said "REMOVE KEBAAAAAAAAB!!!!" Although I didn't actually said that because, like, why would I even give a heck about it?!?! So, we came out of the corridor, and then killed those whatever the fuck are those fucking monsters are. For some reason, when holding this staff. I just felt like I knew everything about the enemy. Weird, couldn't it just been more anomalies? I killed 3 of them with my staff. Hell, that was epic. Everyone otherwise killed the other monsters. I saw those, these are epic too but we couldn't hang on for a while.

After we finished killing those monsters, I decided to take some of it's DNA for research because, why not? Anyway, Jack is trying to lockpick the door that leads to the outside of this vault. However, Bonesy decided to just hack the terminal since that was easier. He then spend about 5.4356765235 hours trying to finish the totally extremely easy minigame to nowhere. He decided to just use console commands to remove the door.

But since Jack said it could fuck up "the game," he decided to just restore it. Not before another monster broke in the wall. However, Jack unlocked the door already and we entered it even before the monster could enter. Wow, we had to catch our breath from that. It turns out it was a loading door, and we had to wait a bit long before the door on the other side can open. Well, Bonesy hopes there will be no boss in the next room, even through I think it's isn't. But well, spoilers, isn't it?!?!

The loading screen on whatever the fuck it is finished, and I saw some sort of anomaly on the screen: A creature with four arms and horse legs, armed with a lot of weapons. The head was, surprisingly, Pinkie Pie's head! Could this actually be the mastermind behind Platform Racing 3 - The Ponies Incident?!?! The weapons are blades that looked razor sharp. Pretty fucking scary I'll admit. But then, well, we prepare for the worst. I spun my own staff, and everyone else do their stuff with their own weapons. After that, we ran towards it and attempt to kill it.

Wow, awesome. I did the first hit. I ripped off its hide. But then, the monster grabbed me and threw me, and I was bounced onto a wall. What the fuck?!?! After that, everyone else attempted to kill it. I then felt someone got thrown on me, like, what the fuck is happening?

After a long time of daydreaming about fart fetish, shitty school stuff, anomalies, and everything else. I woke up with some other people. Everyone else woke up, what the fuck did I just experience?!?! Hey, is that what Ryuko and Vernoica I see? HOLY FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

I was like "BEHOLD, YOU ARE THE GREATEST TO BESTOW THE DUTCH OVEN TO ME, BLESS ME WITH YOUR GREATNESS?!?!" Wut

And then Ryuko was like "nope"

FML

Totally not stolen ffs.

Anyway, I spotted some time bomb over here and I was like "OH SHIT" and told everyone to see it. They go like "fuck" and then we decided to proceed to run out of the building as quickly as possible. Then, after that, I heard some stupid phrase and Vault 420 blew off in green smoke. Wow, what the fuck?!?! But now, the problem is, how do we get out of this planet... I mean place, and also HOW SOON CAN I GET BACK TO MY HOME KAY?!?! For some reason, Celtic and Ryuko ran off to some shack nearby to discuss their shit.

Bonesy said there was a station somewhere since we cannot get out of this fucking place anyway, even through I could call Patrix90 to pick up me with a helicopter and go home MY BAD! Anyway, we go to the station and faced shit like an army of ships with girly colors like pink, purple and stuff like that. I was like "WTF?!?!" Bonesy decided to get his red and black spraypaint, and then we proceed to paint the fastest ship we found with three stripes of red. Sure wouldn't surprise me.

We decided to run into the ship in a really fucking fast speed, and then proceed to go to a planet known as Equestria. Darn it guys, if this quest is finished then could I go home?!?!